Matthew (27:3-10)
When Judas, his betrayer, saw that he was condemned, he
repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and
the elders, saying, “I have sinned in betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” And throwing down the pieces of silver in the
temple, he departed; and he went and hanged himself.
But the chief priests, taking the pieces of silver, said,
“It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, since they are blood money.” So they took counsel, and bought with them the
potter’s field, to bury strangers in. Therefore, that field has been called the
Field of Blood to this day. Then was fulfilled what had been spoken by the
prophet Jeremiah, saying, “And they took
the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him on whom a price had been set by
some of the son’s of Israel, and they gave them for the potter’s field, as the
Lord directed me.”
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Imagine the scene in the chambers of the chief priests and
elders. Place yourself there. Become a bystander or a servant. Perhaps you are one of the elders or the
doorkeeper. Imagine yourself in that
room. Are the officials passing out
cigars? Are they slapping each other on
the back because they got the conviction they wanted? Are they relieved because this troublemaker, this “King” of the Jews will no longer be a
force to contend with? Suddenly the door
slams into the wall. Judas Iscariot
pushes his way past the doorkeeper and through the crowd. What does his face
look like? How does his voice sound as
he blurts out, “I have sinned”?
What do you feel as you observe the scene? Are you annoyed? Are you confused? What’s going on? Suddenly, the thirty pieces of silver hit the
floor, clanking as they scatter. Judas flees.
He looks stricken. Impulsively
you follow him out. You want to say something
. . . anything. You follow him but he is moving fast. You try to catch up but you have to rest and
get your breath. You start to move
again. He can only go in one direction. You try to pick up your pace. You need to catch up with him. And then in the distance you see his
silhouette. He is standing on a small
log. The rope is looped over the tree. The
noose is around his neck. You try to
scream . . . DON’T! Before the scream
escapes your lips he kicks away the log. It is over.
The sun is going down. The wind is picking up. It’s getting cold. Judas’ body swings in the
breeze. Slowly you retrace your steps back
into the town. The pathos in this Gospel passage is more than Judas betraying
Jesus. Peter also betrayed Jesus. The
pathos is that, unlike Peter, Judas could not imagine being forgiven by the one
against whom he had sinned.
We’ll never know what drove Judas to betray Jesus. But we can wonder. Was it the tempting sounds of thirty pieces of silver jingling in the
treasurer’s purse? Some scholars suggest
that Judas betrayed Jesus because he had become disillusioned with Him. Like many others, even people today, Judas
was expecting a political Messiah. He
wanted a Messiah who would lead the Jewish people out from the Roman occupation. By turning him over to the authorities Judas
may have been trying to force Jesus to
act like the revolutionary leader he wanted him to be. No matter what Judas’ motives were, these
verses from Matthew’s Gospel following the act of betrayal describe one of the
great tragedies in scripture, the tragedy of despair. The tragedy of ceasing to
believe in God.
Judas betrayed Jesus.
Judas was, in his turn, betrayed by those who used him to get to Jesus. Did Judas kill himself out of despair over
having betrayed Jesus? Or did he kill
himself because he was angry that he himself was betrayed? “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” Harsh words. In the end it seems that two things drove
Judas to suicide: Anger at being a
fool. And despair upon realizing he had
sinned.
A few years ago I found a battered book of daily meditations
by an anonymous Jesuit that was translated from French into English in 1868. A meditation based on this Gospel passage
gives sound advice for today. It reads in part:
"Never let us count on help, sympathy, or respect, from those whom
we have served against our own conscience and against the law of
God." In short: Never trust the
untrustworthy.
Another meditation in the same book found a bit further
along gets to the heart of Judas’ sin.
Judas’ belief “that his crime was
unpardonable was disbelief in God . . .”
When Judas believed his sin could not be forgiven he stopped believing
in God. It was then that despair spiraled down and drove him to suicide.
Standard dictionaries define despair as loss of hope,
hopelessness, to give up, to be without
hope. In this narrative, however,
despair has a more complex meaning. One
theological source defines despair as the voluntary and complete abandonment of
all hope of saving one’s soul. The voluntary abandonment of hope in
salvation. The intentional denial of the
meaning of Jesus’ saving act. That
saving act we recall as we move through the liturgies of Holy Week.
Despair is not passive. Despair is a conscious choice. The Sin of Despair is an act of the will. It is an act that chooses to give up any hope
of eternal life. Despair whispers in our
ear that God will not pardon our sins.
And we believe that whispered message.
That was Judas’ sin.
Believing that God would not pardon his sin. We can only pray that that kind of despair
never controls us, no matter what, no matter when, no matter why. Yes, we are sinners. But we are sinners loved by God. We are sinners loved by God who pardons our
sins when we acknowledge them, when we confess them, and when we seek pardon,
while resolving to amend our lives.
As we ponder the actions and death of Judas, as we stand
speechless over his ultimate act of despair, we recall Jesus’ words on the
cross.
“Father, forgive them
for they know not what they do.”
Judas was included in that forgiveness. Or could have been included in that
forgiveness. It was too late. He never
believed he could know God’s forgiveness and love.
