Ps 126
Mk 10:46-52
"Master, I want to see."
"Master, I want to see."
What did Bartimaeus' voice sound like? Was it high or low, loud or soft? What was the tone of his voice? Was it angry and demanding or desperate and
pleading? What did his face look like? What was his posture? Enter into this narrative as if you were in
the cast of a movie about Jesus. Place yourself in the scene. Spend as much time as you wish recreating it.
This composition of the scene and placing yourself in the action is one of the
fundamental practices of contemplation as St. Ignatius described in the Spiritual Exercises. Be there in as much detail as you can create or
as long as you can tolerate.
We are all Bartimaeus, at least some of the time. We are all blind to God's presence in our
lives, at least some of the time. That blindness may come on us suddenly as we
stand at the bedside of a dying spouse or watch the house burn down. Bartimaeus' plea, "Master I want to see"
may emerge from our lips in different words: The angry WHY? of the suddenly bereaved, the
desperate Help Me! as cancer pain becomes worse. Where is your mercy? Where is your power? Where . . . . .is your love? We are all Bartimaeus. We are all, at some point, that man sitting
at the roadside blind, disoriented, confused and desperate to see and
understand.
One of the challenges of getting old is seeing. Or rather, the challenge is loss
of the ability to see in the same way we saw at age twenty-five. Cataracts.
Macular degeneration. Diabetic eye disease. Glaucoma. They all impair
the ability to see. But even in uncomplicated
aging, the changes in the eye result in diminished vision. By age sixty the retina receives only receives one-third
the light than it did at twenty-one. THAT is why
gray-haired old dudes like me--I am now a patient in the geriatric medicine
clinic at MGH--that is why gray-haired old dudes always have the high beams
on. CAUSE THEY CAN'T SEE WITH THE LOW
BEAMS. Even when we are not blind to Jesus, we can always see
better. It is rather like cleaning our glasses, putting them on, getting
a stronger prescription, or the startling improvement in vision after cataract
extraction and lens implant. With
prayer, with the sacraments, with contemplation on God's word, we can always
see even better.
Whenever we hear one of Jesus' healing miracles, it is
important to remember that those miracles did not create faith in a vacuum. They
were not like David Henning's magic tricks. They were not feats meant to awe,
amaze, confuse and impress people. With one or two exceptions faith in Jesus' ability to make him
whole, faith in Jesus' ability to return her to society, prompted the request
for healing. (We will hear one of the
exceptions in tomorrow's Gospel). Thus we heard Bartimaeus say, "I want to
see." Jesus said nothing about
vision to him. "Go . . your
faith has made you well." That's
all. "Go, your faith has made you well." Jesus is saying the same
thing to us. He says the same thing to us. Your faith has made you well. And your faith keeps you well.
"They left in tears
I will comfort them
as I lead them
back
I will guide them."
Sometimes
we need Jesus to find us when we are lost, when we are blind, when we are
confused and hurting. All of us go out
in life full of tears, carrying seed for the sowing. Sowing is backbreaking, exhausting, and
painful work. That is the reality of life, it is the cross of being human. But as we come back rejoicing, carrying the
sheaves we realize what God has done for us. We know what God will do for us.
"Master, I want to see."
That should be our prayer for all of this coming week.
American Jesuits are all required to take the AARP 55 and Alive class at 70. At 75, when the rate and incidence of driving impairment increases, each man must take an on-road supervised driving exam with an occupational therapist, not a driving school. four years to the course and nine to the driving test.
The photos below are an example of my first attempt at light painting. My niece has a pond on her property. The pond has a dock, the end of which floats on pontoons. I went down in the early AM to get photos of some of the leaves. While adjusting my stance on the dock I noticed the reflections in the ripples. So, I began to bounce up and down on the dock and take photos of the reflections in the ripples. The first few were early in the AM, before the sun was visible on the water. After breakfast I took some with much more sun resulting in a dramatic difference in color and effect.
A photo of the reflections before I started bouncing on the dock.
The first three were taken in the early AM and the last three around 10:30 AM.
+Fr. Jack, SJ, MD