Wisdom 3:1-9
"People don't want to let go. . . .
They think it's supposed to last forever"
"But it happens anyway . . . .
it doesn't matter what you do, you can't stop it."
"This living . . . . this life . . . .
it doesn't last forever"
"It was never supposed to last forever."
These lines are from the poignant final scene of "The Shadow Box" Michael Cristofer's 1977 Pulitzer Prize winning play. It was later made into a TV movie directed by Paul Newman starring Valerie Harper, Christopher Plummer, and Joann Woodward.
"The Shadow Box" reminds us that our lives are finite. It brings into sharp focus the agonizing realization that the lives of those whom we love, must end, as ours must also end. It recalls the words in the first preface of the Mass for the dead, “indeed for your faithful, Lord, life is changed not ended.” The change is not only for the one who died but happens in the lives of those who survive, who must go on living without the one who died.
The play, that is set in a hospice, explores the final days of life for three characters and their loved ones. It does not ignore the strains on relationships when it becomes obvious that death is near, nor does it avoid the regrets as one looks back. It acknowledges the pain when we finally realize "it doesn't last forever" and captures the difficult moment when the gut realization hits, "It was never supposed to last forever."
Being with someone at the moment of death is to experience awe in its fullest sense. The last blip on the monitor. The moment when all movement ceases. The sigh as the final breath escapes the body. A life is over. Everything has ended. Everything has changed. Even though the final illness may have been prolonged and death temporarily held off with complex medical procedures and technology, the change from life to eternal life
occurs in an instant.
At that same moment we who remain are thrown into the tasks of grieving and mourning as we are forced to begin adapting to an absence in our lives. We don't want to let go. We never want to let go. We do think it is going to last forever. But it doesn't. It never will. We rage against the knowledge that we have carried around that "It was never supposed to last forever."
Though the Church commemorates All Soul's Day on November 2, We experience private All Soul's Days throughout the year. That happens, for example, when we see the anniversary of a death approaching. Those private all soul’s days may cause us to dread another holiday without the one who died. It is a private All Souls’ Day when we suddenly recall something that no one else would know except the one we are grieving.
"The soul's of the just
are in the hands of God
and no torment shall touch them."
The beginning of the reading from Wisdom is consoling, though it may take many months to experience that consolation. The souls of the just are in the hands of God. The souls of those whom we loved know something we cannot imagine. Those whom we mourn and for whom we pray,particularly on this day, have returned to the hands of God.
We will never know the how, the what, or the where of the eternal life that was won for us through Jesus' surrender to the Father’s will until we too have died. For now, we can only know through faith that the souls of those whom we loved and who loved us, are held for eternity in the hands of God. That knowledge does not in any way relieve us of the pain of mourning or the tasks of grieving, but it may at least dull the very sharpest edges of grief.
Today we commemorate the souls of the dead: family and friends as well as those who have no one to pray for them. It is a day to visit the grave even if only through our memories, and place candles or flowers. It is a day to attend Mass. It is a day to sit quietly so as to recall memories, to grieve, to give thanks for that life, and pray for those who have died.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Requiescant in pace.
“Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May their souls
and the souls of the faithful departed
rest in peace.”
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The photos are from All Saint's Day in Slovenia where it is seen as All Soul's Eve (and is a national holiday). I was blown away.
The candles surrounded the funeral chapel in the municipal cemetery in žale which the community visited to pray at the Jesuit section. 
The view as far as the eye could see in the huge cemetery. 
A family plot at the cemetery in Preddvor up in the mountains. 
The crucifix in the center of the cemetery 
The village church. It was packed to overflowing during Mass with people standing on the steps. We processed down after Mass to be greeted by several hundred people standing at their family plots.
