Considering all four accounts of the Passion it is easy to note points of agreement and points of disagreement. Facts that are ignored or not mentioned in one account assume critical important in another. Taken as a whole, however, the four accounts give us rounded portraits of some of the actors in the drama of Our Lord's passion. Among these is the portrait of Judas Ischariot.
Just a few minutes ago we heard, in the account written by Mark.
" . . .but woe to that man
by whom the Son of Man is betrayed.
It would be better for him
It would be better for him
had he never been born."
We know how Judas' story ended. Were we to move to Matthew's text we would hear how Judas burst in on the officials and admitted he had betrayed an innocent man; and then the chilling words, "And throwing down the pieces of silver . . . he departed; and went and hanged himself."
Place yourself in the room. Become a bystander or a servant. Or one of the elders. Or the doorkeeper. Observe the scene. The door slams into the wall. Judas pushes his way through the crowd. What does his face look like? How does his voice sound? What do you feel as you observe the scene? Are you annoyed? Are you confused?
Imagine the sound of the silver hitting the floor and scattering. Judas flees. He looks stricken. You follow him impulsively. The look on his face scares you. You want to say something—anything. You follow him but he is moving fast. You try to catch up, but you must rest and get your breath. You start to move again. He can only go in one direction. You attempt to pick up your pace. You want--no you need--to catch up with him but your legs are turning to lead. And then in the distance you see his silhouette. He is standing on a tree stump. A rope is tied to a tree branch. The noose is around his neck. You try to scream . . . DON’T!
Before the scream can form he leans forward. The stump rolls away.
It is over.
The sun is setting. The breeze is picking up. You wrap your cloak against the chill wind. Judas’ body swings in the breeze. You slowly retrace your way back to town.
The tragedy is more than Judas betraying Jesus. Peter also betrayed Jesus. The tragedy is that, unlike Peter, Judas could not imagine being forgiven by the one against whom he had sinned. We will never know what drove Judas to betray Jesus. But we can wonder.
Some scholars suggest Judas had become disillusioned with Jesus. Like many today Judas expected, wanted, and perhaps even demanded, a political Messiah, a social justice warrior, a militant and perhaps military Messiah to lead the Jewish people from under Roman occupation. A Jesus who would rubber stamp any new movement society decreed good, even when it violates the moral law. Did Judas kill himself in despair for having betrayed Jesus? Did he kill himself because he was also betrayed, because he was played like a cheap guitar? Or did he kill himself because he thought he could never be forgiven by the one whom he had betrayed? No matter the motives Matthew described one of the great tragedies in scripture: the tragedy of Judas' despair. A tragedy too common in many lives today.
A few years ago, I was sorting the belongings of a newly deceased Jesuit. I found a battered book of daily meditations on a bookshelf. It was old and very used. Originally in French it was translated into English in 1868. The meditation on the story of Judas gives sound advice even today. "Never let us count on help, sympathy, or respect, from those whom we have served against our own conscience and against the law of God." Then the anonymous Jesuit writer gets to the heart of the tragedy when he notes that "Judas' belief that his crime was unpardonable was disbelief in God . . .” When he believed his sin could not be forgiven Judas stopped believing in God. It was then that despair drove him to violent suicide.
Standard dictionaries define despair as loss of hope. However, despair is more complex than that. One theological source defines despair as the voluntary and complete abandonment of all hope of saving one’s soul, the voluntary abandonment of hope in salvation, and the intentional denial of the meaning of Jesus’ saving act. Despair is not passive. It requires an act of the will to give up hope of eternal life. Despair whispers in our ear that God will not pardon our sins. And we believe that whispered message. Judas did.
We can only pray that despair of this type never controls us, no matter what, no matter when, no matter why. Yes, we are sinners. We are sinners loved by God who pardons our sins when we acknowledge them, confess them, and seek pardon, while resolving to amend our lives.
As we ponder Judas' action, as we stand speechless over the act of ultimate violence that emerged from his despair, we recall Jesus’ words on the cross: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Judas was included in that forgiveness. Or could have been included. But, it was too late. He ceased believing he could know God’s forgiveness, he ceased believing in God's love. He rejected the possibility of forgiveness and condemned himself to a death from which he could not be saved.
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At the Abbey of Regina Laudis until Easter Sunday. Arrived on Saturday afternoon to celebrate all of the liturgies until after Mass on Easter Sunday. Then back to Boston. Fortunately it is not a terribly long drive and I will have some company. A priest-friend is joining me tomorrow to help out a bit. We will return to Boston together.
Will be quite tired after all is over. Mass on Saturday won't end until after 11 PM. Mass on Sunday is at 8:45 AM. It is not easy to get to sleep after the vigil Mass. Heading out immediately after Sunday Mass as the traffic on I-84 and the Mass Pike gets very ugly by mid-afternoon.
The photos are highly processed black and whites that I took over the past day or so in and around the guest house. I like the pen and ink (or thick brush and black ink) effect ever since a now deceased friend gave me a drawing she did in college. It hung in my offices for years until I entered the Society. I included the before and after; the black and white conversion (I shoot RAW so that everything is in color when it comes out of the camera) and then did some processing using a "curves" adjustment.
+Fr. Jack, SJ, MD
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