In the preface of her autobiography: The Ear of the Heart, Mother Dolores Hart, OSB, a nun at the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut gives an excellent definition of a religious vocation: "Many people don't understand the difference between
a vocation and your own idea about something. A vocation is a call--one you don't necessarily want. The only thing I ever wanted to be was an actress. But I was called by God." She could have added that it is never easy.
She wrote about her first night in the monastery: "I undressed and got into bed.
Suddenly I was consumed with overwhelming loneliness . . . I lay awake on the cot for a long time. . . I could touch the opposite wall with my hand. I lay there, terrified by the enormity of the step I had taken. I began praying . . . I cried myself to sleep that night. I would cry myself to sleep every night for the next three years."
Many of us can identify with those feelings of isolation and the enormity of the step we took when we entered vowed religious life, sometimes asking ourselves, "What have I done?"
The word vocation derives from the Latin root: Voco, vocare, vocatus: To call. To name. To summon. To invite. To challenge. The various meanings overlap but also stand apart, each with shades of meaning that explain the uniqueness of a vocation. After 25 years as a Jesuit (in August) and 15 as a priest (next month) I've heard many vocation stories and shared mine more than a few times. Some of the stories proceeded smoothly whereas others were marked by agonizing doubts, fits and starts, and almost paralyzing uncertainty.
Mother Dolores' "yes" to God's call garnered headlines in the trade papers and movie magazines of the time. Very few people knew she was going to enter until after she walked through the monastery gate and took her place behind the grille. Most vocations do not attract that kind of attention except from friends and family. And not all family and friends are pleased or supportive though the vast majority are. Indeed a semi-shrieked, "You're going to become a WHAT!?!?!?" is not an infrequent question when the news is shared.
Currently there is a buzz over the newly released biographical movie "Father Stu"
that stars Dorchester's own Mark Wahlberg with Mel Gibson playing his father. The movie tells the true story of the late Father Stuart Long who is described in one review as: an "unbaptized boxer from Montana with a foul mouth" and a troubled relationship with his parents. He was baptized after a conversion experience and later, to the consternation of many, entered the seminary. It got more complicated after he entered.
The script writers played fast and loose with some of the facts but on the whole those who knew Fr. Stu deem the movie accurate. I'm amused that a few are put off by the language. The man was a boxer. Most of them don't say gee whillikers, drat, or you so and so, when angry, frustrated, or even in a good mood.
A religious vocation takes time to reveal itself and come to full flower. It also takes a long time after entering before a man or woman is to ready to make a lifelong commitment. I don't know any order in which it is possible to count the number of years
from entry to final vows using the fingers of just one hand. (With sixteen years between entering in 1997 and final vows in 2013,I had to use all four extremities). Only after years of prayer, testing, self-examination, observing, and being tested, can one be ready for that final commitment. The course is not always easy.
The late Mother Dorcas Roselund, also a nun of Regina Laudis, entered after practicing pediatric gastroenterology. A small woman with a crushing handshake, she described the challenges of living in a monastic community as, "The new martyrdom. They used to throw Christians to the lions. Now they make us live together."
She got that right.
Despite the drawbacks, regardless of the losses and 'give ups' that come with the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, many of us who have those vows for years can imagine no other way of life.
Two elements are crucial for vocations to the religious life. The first is prayer, prayer for vocations, prayer for those discerning vocations, and prayer for those who are living their vocations. The second is simply asking and listening. It is important that another person ask and then listen to the response. That someone may be a parent or grandparent who sees something, a friend who recognizes a spark, or a religious with a certain intuition. The director my fellowship in consultation psychiatry at Mass General Hospital, George Murray, SJ, MD was that someone who, in mid-November 1922 asked the questions, "Are you thinking of entering becoming a Jesuit or a priest?"
If someone indicates interest in religious life ask, "what brought you to this decision?" "have you begun the process?" "What attracts you to that particular order?" Listen to the answers. And never ever answer the question, "Should I enter or not?" That is between the individual and God, no one else dare interfere with that dialog. I never asked George that particular question. I knew he never would have answered it.
And finally pray that the young--or not quite so young--man or women, will say with Mary,
"Fiat mihi secundum tuum."
May it be done to me according to your will.
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Among the great joys of a camera is wandering around a farmer's market shooting the food. It looks so much better outdoors than in the sterility of an Acme or Stop and Shop. I was always amazed in Ljubljana where there was an outdoor market six days a week almost year round (not on Sunday) that the vendors set up and broke down their stalls, including the wooden shelves etc, daily.
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