Gettin' Old: Homily 3rd World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly
23 July 2023
On January 31, 2021, Pope Francis designated the Fourth Sunday of July
as the First World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly. Today is the third annual observance. It is a day on which to pray for the intention of those who are old, an opportunity to meditate on the great gift of wisdom, and a time to acknowledge the critical role played by elders throughout the world
It is not easy being old in the youth-crazed, old-age denying, and productivity obsessed U. S. The same is apparently true in Australia about which Trappist Michael Casey writes: "Some societies reverence the old, seeing in them the embodiments of ancient wisdom and experience. We, on the contrary, seem to hanker after illusory youthfulness, so quickly and irretrievably left behind."
There are no valid arguments to counter this assessment.
Among the most insulting of comments directed at an old person is the ever popular and terribly hackneyed, "You're not 83 years Ollllld. You're 83 years Youuuuuuuuuunnnnng." A waiter said that to my then 85 year-old mom. Can't quote her response in sacred space but I suspect the young man thought twice before saying it again.
Insisting that an octogenarian is young efficiently accomplishes two things.
It strips the individual of his or her dignity and, more significantly, reveals the speaker's terror of aging, fear of death, lack of compassion, and general unkindness. Nothing horrifies Americans more than the thought of aging, the idea of having to live within the physical, cognitive, and functional limits imposed by the aging process.
I used to envy pediatricians only one thing: they have age-linked charts and graphs to track a child's physical, psychological, and cognitive development.
One quick checkmark and ya' got that covered. Next patient. All I had in geriatrics was a blank piece of paper on which to record the uniqueness that defined the old man or woman sitting on the other side of the desk.
No checkmark or click of a computer mouse on an electronic record can summarize an old patient's history; no average, below average, or above average designation can describe the nuances of his or her life be it in the medical clinic or psychiatry office.
We become increasingly different as we age. Department stores group children's clothing by age: birth to six months, six to twelve months, one to two years, and so on. Even though I keep looking, I've yet to see a clothes rack for 65 to 75 years old standing next to one for 60 to 65 year-olds.
Some do have an easier time with aging than others. No matter what however, we must not deny the reality of the old by insisting they are really young despite all evidence to the contrary.
If we are to truly honor and respect the elderly we must accept each individual
for who, what, and how he or she really is, rather than demanding they be
who, what, and how we want them to be which is young.
Stanley Hauerwas writes in his book Growing Old in Christ, "one of the problems of our time is the assumption that we can and should live as if we will never grow old." It is an important observation. In chapter twelve Job asks, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” Denying the reality of aging is a refusal to acknowledge and respect the wisdom of the old.
Remember the motto of the late 60s “Never trust anyone over thirty?” Ironically, those who marched while chanting that slogan are now septuagenarians, if they lived long enough.
Wisdom is neither innate nor genetic. It is acquired through long experience
of success and failure. It is acquired most easily by those with a listening heart, and the courage to enter into silence and prayer so as to reflect on their lives with awareness that those lives are nearing an end.
Wisdom is a force in the world that is critical to civilization, fundamental to being human, and the most significant factor separating us from all lower animals. It also separates us from “artificial intelligence” a concept that is artificial but nothing more.
When others insist that an old man or an old woman is YOUUUUUUUUNG
they are denying his or her existence, disparaging the challenges he or she has faced, and throwing in a complimentary dollop of hostility.
For many years JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, featured cover art with commentary by M. Therese Southgate, a physician
who was a self-taught art historian. Some weeks her essay was the best thing in the issue.
The May 3,1995 cover was a painting by Henri Amiel who Southgate quoted in her essay.
"To know how to grow old is the masterwork of wisdom
and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living."
Others have also reflected on aging. Bette Davis was more droll than Amiel in her pithy statement: "Old age ain't for sissies"
In his homily on the Feast of the Presentation some time in the early 1990s,
Jesuit Father Jim Casciotti said, "Old age can be a time of bitterness and regret, clinging to the past, and resenting any changes or loss of independence. But, to those whose faith has deepened with the years
there comes wisdom, integrity, and a sense of providence."
As this annual day for the elderly becomes established in the calendar, I hope liturgists have the sense to include somewhere in the liturgy Habakkuk's great psalm for the elderly who gradually lose much.
"For though the fig tree blossom not
nor fruit be on the vines,
though the yield of the olive fail
and the terraces produce no nourishment,
though the flocks disappear from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
Yet will I rejoice in the Lord
and exult in my saving God.
God, my Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet swift as those of hinds
and enables me to go upon the heights
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Hope this works. Google completely screwed up my blog access. Some kind help from someone on the computer helped to restore things but the work space does not look the same was as it did for the past eleven years.
Will try to add a few photos and see what happens. All of the shots are from Longwood Gardens where I first became interested in photography thanks to a med school classmate who is a very talented photographer. These need no explanation simply that they are pretty. Haven't been down in that direction in a number of years but if and when I do, off we go.
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