Wisdom 3:1-9
1 Cor 15:51-57
Jn 11:17-27
"People don't want to let go. . . . They think it's supposed to last forever"
"But it happens anyway . . . . it doesn't matter what you do, you can't stop it."
"This living . . . . this life . . . . it doesn't last forever"
"It was never supposed to last forever."
These lines come from the poignant final scene of "The Shadow Box," Michael Cristofer's 1977 Pulitzer Prize winning play that was later made into a TV movie starring Valerie Harper, Christopher Plummer, and Joann Woodward. It was directed by Paul Newman.
"The Shadow Box" reminds us of the limits of life. It places in sharp relief the shock when we realize that our lives are finite. and it shows the agonizing realization when it hits us that our lives, and the lives of those we love, must end.
Set in a hospice the play explores the final days for three characters and their loved ones. It does not ignore the strains on relationships when it becomes obvious that death is inevitable. It acknowledges the pain when we realize
"it doesn't last forever." It captures the difficult moment when it becomes apparent that "It was never supposed to last forever."
Being with someone at the moment of death is to experience awe in the truest sense of the term. The last blip on the monitor. The moment when all movement ceases. A sigh as the final breath escapes the body. Suddenly a life is over. Everything has ended. Everything has changed.
We heard in Paul’s letter " . . . in an instant, in the blink of an eye." We all die in a smallest flicker of time. Even though the illness that led to death may have been prolonged, though death may have been held off for months with medical technology, the movement from life to eternal life takes place in an instant. At that moment we are thrown into the tasks of grieving and mourning. We are forced to begin adapting to an absence in our lives.
We don't want to let go.
We never want to let go.
We do believe it is going to last forever.
But it doesn't.
It never will.
We rage against the knowledge that we have carried around for most of our lives that "It was never supposed to last forever."
The Church commemorates All Soul's Day on November 2, but we experience and commemorate private All Soul's Days throughout the year. We observe a private All Soul's Day when we see the anniversary of death approaching and try to steel ourselves against it. It is a private All Soul’s day when we contemplate another Thanksgiving or Christmas without the one whom we love, It is a private All Souls’ Day when suddenly recall something
of the relationship that no one else would know. And the pain comes back.
"The soul's of the just are in the hands of God and no torment shall touch them."
The beginning of the reading from Wisdom is a source of consolation, though it may take months to feel it. The souls of the just are in the hands of God. The souls of those whom we loved have something more than we could ever imagine. Those whom we mourn have returned to the hands of God. We will never know the how, the what, or the where of the eternal life that was won for us through Jesus' sacrifice. We can never know eternal life until we ourselves have died. For now, we can only know through faith that the souls of those whom we loved and who loved us, are held now and for eternity in the hands of God.
That knowledge does not in any way relieve us of the pains or the tasks of grieving, but it may at least dull the very sharpest edges of grief. Both of Paul’s questions in the second reading drip with sarcasm.
"Death where is thy victory?"
"O death, where is thy sting?"
One can almost hear Paul sneering. Death's victory was snatched away
through Jesus' passion, death, resurrection, and ascension. Hell's sting was neutered by the Body and Blood of Christ. We know this through faith as did Martha in the gospel.
Imagine the scene. Lazarus' sisters, friends, and other family, are gathered at the new tomb. Their hearts are heavy with grief as they shed tears of sorrow.
Some were confused. Others were angry, doubting God's goodness.
"Lord, if you had been here . . . ."
"Your brother will rise."
"I know he will rise . . . on the last day."
And then Jesus utters the most consoling words imaginable: "I am the Resurrection and the Life; he who believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die."
Then we hear Martha's profound act of faith: "You are the Christ, the Son of God . . . . "
Today we commemorate the souls of the dead: family, friends, and those who have no one to pray for them. It is a day to visit a grave and place candles or flowers. It is a day to attend Mass. It is be a day to sit quietly alone, perhaps while saying a rosary, and recall, grieve, and pray for those who have died.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Requiescant in pace.
Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May their souls and the souls of the faithful departed
rest in peace.
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One of the Stations of the Cross in Loyola, Spain 
The grave of a Kenyan Jesuit who was a very close friend. He never made it to forty. 
A monastery graveyard
Fr. Jack, SJ, MD
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